Top Five Reasons A Jewelry Box Is A Better Gift Than A Car, Humor

Jewelry Box

At first you may think this notion is downright idiotic. Of course any woman would rather receive a brand new car as a gift than even the most luxurious wood jewelry box. But when you get down to the details, you’ll quickly see why a jewelry box is a better gift than a car (yes, this is a bit tongue in cheek). Here are 5 reasons why this is true.

1) Easier to Wrap

As anyone can see, even a large jewelry armoire is easier to wrap than a new car. With a new car, the only thing you can do is put a bow on it and leave it unwrapped (and that’s just tacky). A jewelry box, on the other hand, can easily be wrapped with pretty paper or placed in a decorative gift bag. And isn’t pretty wrapping paper and gift bags what the holidays and birthdays are all about?

2) Doesn’t Cost $2,500+ a Year to Operate

Chances are you already own at least one car and currently spend anywhere from $30 to $100 a week just to keep it moving. What fun is a gift that costs you money in the long run? A wooden or leather jewelry box doesn’t cost you a thing to maintain. It’s true, your wife/girlfriend/friend/daughter/sister would probably like to spend $100 a week on jewelry, but at least at the end of the week, she’ll still have $100 worth of jewelry in it (rather than just fumes and an empty gas tank).

3) Lower Chance of Getting Damaged by a Renegade Shopping Cart

If you buy a jewelry box, chances are it will be placed in a secure location in your home away from possible danger and damage for eternity. However, with a new car, the first thing your wife/girlfriend/friend/daughter/sister will probably do is take it out of your safe and secure garage/driveway and thrust it into the dangerous streets and highways where bad drivers, mother nature, and drifting shopping carts can have their way with it (need we say more?).

4) Doesn’t Lead to Violent Outbursts of Anger on the Highway

When was the last time a jewelry box caused you to flash obscene hand gestures at someone or scream uncontrollably at a person you don’t even know? Unless you have a history of mental illness or a deep seeded hatred for anything related to convenient jewelry storage, the answer is probably never. So as you can see, presenting a loved one with a new car is basically saying “You don’t scream or swear nearly enough at random people.

5) You can Actually Afford a New Jewelry Box

Unless your last name is Clooney, Hilton, or Gates, chances are you really can’t afford to buy a new car for your loved one. As much as you’d like to give your wife/girlfriend/friend/daughter/sister a new car to show her how much you care, a new car would just lead to missed car payments, repossession, and maybe even divorce/breakup/disownment. A new jewelry box, on the other hand, costs tens of thousands of dollars less than a new car and is still a luxurious gift that any woman would appreciate (unless she has a deep-seated hatred for anything related to convenient jewelry storage).

The above article is meant for entertainment purposes only and does not select the opinions of actual sane people.

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